Beginning at the End

This time I’m choosing me and I’m letting you go.
Releasing my grip on a future that I’ll never know.
My stubbornness to keep fighting for you stunted our ability to grow.

This time I'm making a promise to myself.
I promise to reclaim my mental health.
Accept this reality and play the cards I’ve been dealt.

This time I’m falling in love with the idea of my potential.
Identifying and confronting my demons is essential.

This time I’ll be clear on the values that are important to me.
Stand on the boundaries I set and defend them consistently.
So I can recognize red flags in people and place them accordingly.

This time I’ll be emotionally matured, evolved and better equipped
I promise to navigate this next chapter with integrity, honor and grit.
I know my person can't wait to treat my heart like a gift.

This time it will be different, we both have a second chance.
This is the last gift I will give to you, you showed me where I stand.
I hope that who you choose to replace me is much a better man.

This time was never meant for us, as hard as I tried. 
I lost myself pouring into you and put my growth aside.
I have to let the person I created, the father, your husband die.

This time its forgiveness for myself and gratitude for you.
Thank you for teaching me what I need and showing me the truth.
That you were never mine and only you can be responsible for you.

This time is all about me searching for a better me.
Understanding that I’m not afraid to sacrifice who I am, to be who I need to be.
Grateful to be alive and surprised that I had the courage inside of me.
This time I’m free from the burden and the weight of toxicity.
This time I’m going to give my love unconditionally.
This time I will respectfully consider the future me.